Friday, April 08, 2005

Breathe

I can’t take this shit. I felt like my heart was going to fucking explode in my Goddamn chest. I had to get out, get high and get lost. The pressure in my chest was spinning and growing bigger by the second, I made it to the bathroom before I vomited.

I hadn’t bothered to close the door. The wife’s pregnant belly had prevented her from getting up too quickly. To her credit, she didn’t call for James—she stood in the doorway asking if I needed anything. Patient and understanding.

“No”

I thought about it, an empty stomach and beer didn’t make for a pretty combination coming up. I stood up wiping my mouth.

“Do you have any gum?”

She walked away for a minute and returned with a new toothbrush and a used tube of toothpaste.

“I didn’t mean to pry.”

She left me alone for the rest of the afternoon, but it didn’t help. Every time James touched the small of my back, my skin crawled. He wasn’t repulsive but it was if he was trying make sure the loving couple knew I was his.

What the fuck happened to my good time party boy with the sly smile. Suddenly in the car I was angry and having nowhere to direct my anger I pointed it at him.

“What the fuck was that about?”

He didn’t flinch.

“Look Dahlin, Melissa and Sam are my two best friends in the world, but every since they got hitched and got pregnant they want me to find the same—no offense but there is still to much fun to be had in this world.”

“I had a great time with you and you saved my ass—but I don’t see it happening again.”

Every ounce of stress drained from my body, I damn near sighed.

“Thank the Lord.”

“What?” he asked looking at me frowning.

I started laughing.

“Did you think I was looking for more than a good time?’

He was still speechless by the time he dropped me off at my house.

I winked at him and walked in to find Jane making out with her ex girlfriend.

They immediately stopped Jane beamed at me, blushing.

“Savannah, this is Priscilla.”

I raised my eyebrow, “sorry for pulling your hair.”

Her smirk suddenly turned into a snarl. I smiled bigger.

“Is that Jane’s dress.”

“Yes, and I can’t wait to strip it off.”

I walked back to my room, peeled off the dress and with a degree of defiance walked butt naked to the bathroom for a shower.

I washed off the last of James' smell from the small of my back and tried to get the puke smell out of my nose. What trouble could I get into tonight?

I was still thinking about it when back in my room, just as I was sliding on my jeans a rapid buzzing sound made me jump. WTF.

Looking around I felt safe again and continued fastening my jeans. BUUUUUZZZZZ

Fuck, I followed the sound, it was coming from under my bed.

Shit—my phone. A fucking phone I didn’t want. Don had given to me as a “loner” until I got my phone service set up. He knew damn good and well that I wasn’t going to buy a phone or get service for that matter. Hell I could blow town at any given second.

It was him on the other end, he was the only person who had the number. I answered with more than a degree of sarcasm in my voice.

“This is Savannah.”

No answer, I looked at the phone it was still connected. I put it to my ear.

“Savannah”

“Yes Don.”

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

“I’m fine.” I frowned into the phone.

“Ok, I will see you tomorrow.”

He hung up without letting me respond. I had goose bumps and suddenly felt the need to get high again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Interesting post. It seems, for the most part, your character has become tired of escaping. Yet, when times get rough or she confronts an issue, she jumps right back into the cycle of escapism. I thought she was going to make something of herself. Really, after the bus stop in Sacramento and the bartending job, I thought she was going places. I will stay tuned to see what happens next.