Take two of these and call me in the morning.

I woke up in the back of an ambulance with a oxygen mask being held over my face.

Fuck

I sat up abruptly immediately becoming dizzy. The ambulance door was still open, I tried to get of the stretcher but the EMT pushed me back down.

“Relax, you need to take a ride to the hospital to check out that noggin.”

I laid back down because there wasn’t really anything else I could do. I was dizzy and felt like I was going to throw up.

“I need to call my husband.”

“I will take care of that.” The police officer from the stairs stepped into the ambulance.

“What's his number?” He looked at his cell phone ready to dial.

He handed the phone to me after he dialed.

“Hey I was just about to call you to see how it went.” Don was calm as usual as if what I was about to tell him wouldn’t even disturb his frame of mind.

“Not so good…” I began.

I kept it brief as possible in attempt not to incriminate myself or scare Don. I told the truth, just not all of it. Like the fact that I knew why the guy was after me.

I kept struggling to sit up so the EMT raised the gurney to a more upright position. Through the door of the ambulance I could see Dotty talking to the police. I tried not to narrow my eyes. Who knows what she was telling them.

The officer stepped off of the ambulance.

“We will be in touch, feel better.”

Yah, I bet we would be in touch. As soon as he found out that the bounty hunter was trying to collar me for stabbing someone. I would be packed up and hauled back to Wyoming.

They scanned my brain at the hospital while I was butt naked with a blanket over me. I didn’t even get one of those little gowns.

By the time I was finished, an anxious husband was waiting to take me home as soon as he got the all clear. Personally I like to think that I just fainted, but the officer said I took a nasty spill and landed on the side of my head.

A hour later with an ice pack and a headache I was discharged into the care of my husband.

There was a cleaning van in the driveway as we pulled up to the house. I looked at Don wondering why he was calm enough to think about cleaning the house.

“The SFPD offered because they dusted the house for prints. I told them to send them and I would pay for it.”

Oh shit, shit.

I took my knife with me, I don’t remember touching anything in the cell and the guy never processed me. They had me for reckless driving which I already did community service for five years ago… the list continued in my head but their was no telling what I couldn’t’ account for.

The cleaning crew had left shortly after Don had put the key in the front door. They had spread out through the place in an obviously unnatural manner. Things were much cleaner than usual, you could smell it.

“Why did they fingerprint?” I tried to sound nonchalant.

“Apparently your mothers boyfriend is an ex con and has habit of escaping prosecution by claiming there was a one armed man.”

“I don’t understand, the police officer saw him trip me.”

“Yeah but he didn’t see him break into the house, they are just covering their bases.”

“I have to tell you something.”

Don stopped wiping chopping the onion he was working on sans tears which was amazing, and looked at me.

“You’re leaving me?”

“Fuck no, I have it too good.” I tried to make my response as humorous as possible.

When he didn’t look relived I closed the distance between us and took his face in my hands.

“I love you, but you are married to a wanted woman.”

He covered my hands with his own.

“What did you do?”

I stated quite simply, and for those of you who don’t remember.

“I was arrested for a drunk and disorderly, at the station I hurled on the cop who was supposed to be processing me. He threw me in a holding cell without booking me, he didn’t even have my ID. Some heifer they had pulled out the back woods from God knows where tried to shove my face into her crotch so stabbed her…”

Don was not blinking

“…in the neck.”

“Jesus” it was a good sign that he was still holding me.

“She lived Don, in the melee I stepped out of the police station and didn’t look back.”

“Jesus.”

I don’t think he was there honey.

Don went back to chopping his onion. I knew he had to process it all, James could get permanent custody easily. I could be patient, until he was ready.

I jumped when the doorbell rang a short time later.

Don looked at me and saw my dismay, he went to the door as I stood in the kitchen clutching a glass of wine.

I could hear a muffled voice ask, “Is Savannah home?”

“Shit, it was Dotty.” I had almost forgotten about her.

Before I had a chance to prepare myself she was standing before me. I started to tell her to get the hell out, before I could she held her hand up.

“Just let me say my peace, then I will leave.”

I closed my mouth then opened it again to take a sip of wine.

“I know about the baby, I just wanted to see him…it’s the only reason I came. I told the police that Ben was boyfriend and when I decided to break up with him, he went crazy.”

“Huff” I didn’t believe her or that the police would believe her.

“Look, I have caused you enough trouble.” she reached into her purse.

Here is my phone number if you decide that you need me. She handed me a piece of paper and started to leave.

“Dotty” I called out to her.

When she turned I embraced her.

“Take care.” I meant it. I also thought this would be last time I saw her until her funeral. She teared up but obediently left. Don walked her out.

Chocolate and Vodka

There is nothing that chocolate and vodka couldn’t cure. I know this because I was having a Martini and nibbling on dark chocolate pieces spiced with some exotic blend while my mother rattled on about her latest marriage.

She was thinner than I remember and looked like she would break if you didn’t use extreme caution. Dylan was with James a day early, to make this visit from mommy dearest possible. Some part of me wanted to believe my secret was safe but come on, she had to know about my kid.

James had informed me that he and Ann Marie were taking a break? WTF does that mean exactly? She had gone back home to spend some time with her family and to decide if being married to James was what she really wanted or so she said. It was clear that James thought she was bluffing, she even accused him of being in love with me. Goddamn if I didn’t see hope flicker across the bastards face when he ran that one by me. I ignored him, kissed Dylan goodbye and told them both I would see them on Sunday.

By the time Dotty had shown up I had already had one Martini finished off and I was looking forward to the second. She had gotten dressed up for the occasion, wearing what I am sure was one of her best church suits at one time. When I opened the door she immediately asked to use “the little girls room”. Jesus—that was the kind of cutesy term she would use for public consumption when I was kid.

I walked around the house sipping my Martini wondering what she was going say and when she walked out of the door this time and how long it would be before I saw her again.

Don had a catered lunch delivered. Elegant little sandwiches, deserts and tea service—foo foo shit. When she finally sauntered into the dining room she clasped her hand together in delight at the spread. I had started eating without her.

“So this is how you live these days?” She started to pull a cigarette out of her purse then thought better of it she closed her purse then cleared her throat.

“You can smoke outside if you need to.”

I took alternating bites from the olive in my drink and the cold salmon and dill sandwich which was nothing but fancy tuna salad.

“No, that’s ok baby girl”

“Mama, please don’t”

“What, you are my baby.”

I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my drink.

“What do you want Dotty?”

“Nothing baby, I haven’t seen in just about forever.” she drawled.

“Ok then how did you find me?”

She smiled, I sensed something devious behind it but she was holding it for now.

“Well my new friend that I have been seeing, he is a real P.I.”

“You used a private dick ( I emphasized dick) to find me?”

“Sure did sugar, he just put your name into his computer and there you were. On file for the world to see applying for a marriage license.”

She went for the cigarettes again and shoved them back.

“Didn’t take too much information after that.”

She was nervous, I sat up trying to read her but I couldn’t. The doorbell rang, I didn’t move her eyes flitted toward the door.

“Who the fuck is that mama?”

“It’s just Ben, I wanted you two to meet.”

I got up and walked to the door, peering out the glass. Jesus, there was no way in hell I was going to open the door.

“Honey, just let him in.” she trotted over to the door grabbing the handle I pushed her back.

“No”

“Don’t be silly” she tried again but I pushed her back.

I grabbed the waistline of her skirt pulling her back.

“Get away from the door.”

She yelled out.

“Ben, this girl has gone crazy and won’t open the door.” she laughed nervously.

It was all the invite been needed, when he used his considerable bulk to ram into the door.

Dotty screamed.

The windows would be easy work. He was no fucking PI.

I grabbed Dotty dragging her behind me I went into the office shutting the door I pushed a bookcase in front of it. I heard the windows break.

“What’s going on? Why wouldn’t you open the door?”

I picked up the phone dialing 911, I rather deal with SFPD then get dragged back to Wyoming with that fucker.

“There is a man trying to break into my house.”

I gave the address with a shaky voice that wasn’t an act. What was going to happen to Dylan?

Yes I was in imminent danger, no I didn’t have a weapon. The dispatcher just wanted to keep me on the phone.

I finally sat the phone down. He was in the house, I could hear his heavy footfalls. Dotty was crying.

“What’s going on? What’s going on?”

I turned on Dotty, my lip curled.

“You brought a fucking bounty hunter to my home! My home!”

“What?” Dotty fisted her hands together looking pitiful.

“You brought that piece of shit here to collar me.” I screamed at her. I didn’t care if he knew where I was.

I was blind, I wanted my child I didn’t want to go to jail. I opened the closet and even with my tunnel vision found a aluminum baseball bat on the top shelf. When I wrapped my fingers around the rubber grip, I felt something primal surge through my body.

I screamed and shoved the bookcase out of the way. I was going to kill him.

“What are you doing?”

Dotty was behind me trying to hold me back, I threw the door wide. The chump was standing there and had the nerve to look smug. I cracked him in the groin with the end of the bat, fucker had a cup on. Where was my knife when I needed it? I dodged him when he tried to grab my shoulders with his meat hooks.

Thwack. I cracked the bat across his knee and felt a surge of energy when I heard the satisfying pop.

“You aren’t taking me! You are taking my kid!”

I cracked his thigh, thwack. He tumbled like and dead weight, recovered then started to draw down on me.

Fuck You

Dotty was screaming and sucking on snot pleading.

I knocked the gun out of his hand sending it skittering across the floor. I raised the bat over my right shoulder, Delores Claiborne here I come.

“Stop”

The voice was not coming from the piece of shit on the ground, with the bat still raised I turned on the first landing there was a cop. A muscular Asian man with his hand on his gun but not drawn.

“Ma’am come down her with me.”

Red spots flared in my vision, I felt sick.

“You're not taking my baby”

I adjusted my grip again.

“Ma’am come down here now.”

When I stepped over the prick, he grabbed my ankle, I fell head first down the stairs. That’s the last thing I remember.

When a stranger calls.

The unexpected can be pleasant, a phone call from a friend, flowers from the person you would least expect them from, finding a twenty-dollar bill when you thought you were broke. This wasn’t pleasant, it was downright painful and I wanted it to be over.

Dylan was sleeping peacefully in his bassinet in the family room and I was settling down to watch GH (Yes it's soap and don't fucking ask), when the doorbell rang. At first, I ignored it. Despite the no solicitations sign we were bombarded by salesmen from Kirby Vacuum’s to Brinks home security systems. When it rang again I sat up straightening myself out. I looked like a mother, wearing a track suit and had my hair in one of those damn buns on the top of my head.

Two feet from the door, I had to check my anger when the doorbell rang again. I threw the it open. A woman was standing on the front steps with her head down, her hair once dyed red had faded to sickly orange color. I waved my hand in front of my face trying to disperse the swirl of cigarette smoke.

“May I help you?”

When the woman looked up, Jesus. She looked awful, deep lines creased her once beautiful face and the warm brown pools that were her eyes were milky and cold.

“Aren’t you going to hug me?”

I dutiful reached out my arms and hugged her, keeping my body as far away from as possible.

“Hi mama.”

I settled her into the living room where no one ever sat. I didn’t know if she knew anything about Dylan—if by some miracle she didn’t know I didn’t want her to find out. I brought her a glass of water, told her stay put and went to the office that was located midway up the stairs.

“Do you want me to come home?”

“No, I am going to have her leave soon.”

“Savannah she is your mother, what are you going to tell her?”

“The truth, that I am busy and I will talk to her tomorrow.”

“What are you busy doing?” I damn near giggled, I couldn’t help it. The sarcasm coming from his voice said he knew worlds about me and my frequent naps since having Dylan.

“Look Savannah, are you sure you don’t want me to come home?”

“Don, I want you to come home.” Silence. I don’t think he could have been more shocked if I had told him to mind his own damn business. I needed him, right now more than anyone or anything I needed in my life.

Dotty was smoking when I came back into the living room. The old impetuous me started making fast strokes back to the forefront of my brain. I pushed her back and walked over to Dotty removing the cigarette from her lips I put it out in the water I have given her earlier.

“This isn’t my house, please don’t smoke.”

“Huh! That’s not what I heard. I heard you got yourself a rich beau.” I smiled as sweetly as possible.

“You heard wrong.”

Then what’s all this, she stood up spinning around. When she started to the family room I started to panic—so I stopped her.

“Mother, what do you want?” I turned my back to her and walked into the dining room then the kitchen. You couldn’t see Dylan from the kitchen, I knew because I kept meaning to move his bassinet, right now I was thankful for being lazy.

Dotty followed like I wanted.

“I just wanted to see you baby.” She reached her hand up and touched my cheek I jumped away from her.

I heard the front door open and nearly burst into tears when I heard Don call out for me.

“Excuse me.” I walked to the front door. Don was calmly standing in the entryway I kissed him and folded into his arms. Dotty was standing behind me, I could feel her eyeing my husband.

“Sugar, does your husband know you are already stepping out on him?”

I turned to look at her.

“I am her husband.” Don walked over to Dotty and shook her hand and introduced himself. I prayed the Dylan was quiet for just few minutes more.

Ten minutes later saw Dotty leaving in a cab with a promise for a longer visit, Don had made my excuses then found me clutching Dylan to my chest, making the poor little guy squirm I was holding on so tight.

“That woman is not my mother.” Don gentle took Dylan and placed him back in his bassinet rubbing his tummy.

Don sat back down next tom me. “Then who is she?”

“I don’t know, but the woman who was my mother abandoned me after my father died—that was just her shell reanimated.”

Don reached out and pulled my chin toward him so I was looking him in the eyes. “That’s pretty deep Savannah.”

When I frowned at him, he smiled. I picked up the nearest pillow and hit him with it. He wrestled me down until I was pinned under him. He stared at me, brushing my hair away from my forehead.

“I’m not going to break.” I said it because I knew he was waiting.

“I know.” He kissed me.

Dear Diary, --I have just killed my husband.

Here is to the dearly departed. Don was laying partially hanging off of the sofa trying to catch is breath and holding his man bits. I did my best to stifle a laugh as I padded over to the wet bar for a bottle of water. When I returned to the couch Don’s eyes were closed as if was still lost in what occurred 3 minutes ago. I placed the frosty plastic bottle of water against his stomach just to watch his muscles contract, he still didn’t open his eyes but gestured for me to get closer to him. When I did, he pulled me in for a kiss and patted the couch next to him, I laid down next to him stretching myself along side his unusually warm body…

Four hours earlier our home was unrecognizable it was crammed with so many bodies celebrating Jane’s and Pricilla’s pending bundle of joy… Don kept asking me if I invited certain people—annoyed I finally yelled “I know five-fucking people in San Francisco—who the hell did you think I invited.” I immediately felt bad, people were setting those red plastic cups on his antiques. Hell I don’t even know where the red plastic cups came from. They weren’t here when the party started.

The caterer had set out real glassware and enough food for 50 people to have 2.5 servings, whatever the hell that meant. The house groaned with the weight of had to be close to 100 people—obviously someone had blabbed several of my regulars at the Pussy had already said hello or waved from a distance. I didn’t notice, I was too busy trying to make sure no one stole anything—Jesus what the hell I have I turned into. I took a swig of the Diet Coke I had switched to when I realized how quickly things could get out of hand—someone please call the damn cops. Don had taken the other route and was drinking more, I watched him to another shot from across the room, the short burst of elation left his face soon after the alcohol was down his throat. I thought he was going to be sick until I saw him start to scan the room, he was looking for me. I was just behind a door way peering around, not because I was trying to be sneaky but because I could see two rooms at once this way.

He didn’t panic when he didn’t see me but he looked ill. What was I doing to him? I 'm not sure I made him happy, in fact I am fairly certain I scared the shit out of him. He was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and it was starting to show, his weight was dropping. What do I do, make his fears come to fruition and bounce or do I reassure him? I wasn’t sure how to do that so I crossed the room to him and embraced him, I whispered that we needed to end the party—it was midnight and it would take at least an hour to get rid of all these people.

I knew from working in bars that it was a process. I turned the lights up just a little at first, turned the music down and slowly started to walk around cleaning up—Don, Jane and Pricilla followed my lead. By 1:30 we had the place to ourselves again and a big mess to clean up. I spotted a piece of Don’s Wedgwood teetering on the edge of table, I nudged it back onto the table hoping he didn’t spot his $50 dollar plate about to be obliterated. Who knew what else those maniacs got into.

Don was settling on the couch about to turn on the TV he motioned for me to join him and I panicked. I turned heading for the cellar to take count of the bottles.

“It’s ok, just sit.”

He reached out as if he was going to change the channel on the TV instead he threw the remote on the floor and jumped me. It took me nearly five minutes to stop laughing, he refused to give up though….

Dylan was at the other parents for one more evening and as much as I was enjoying my time with Don, I missed the nugget. I fell asleep next to Don ticking off the hours in my brain until James would bring him home.

Back In the Saddle

I was back, with the kid safely parked other parents apartment. As James walked me to the door I whispered in his ear that if anything happened to my kid I would cut his dick off. The bastard kissed me on the mouth and grinned then went back into the house with his son. He was still cute, but I think he had gotten himself into more than he could handle with the conservative Ann Marie.

By the time I had reached the Pink Pussy I had damn near chewed all of my lipstick off, worrying about what the other mother was doing with Dylan. When I walked into the Pink Pussy applying a fresh coat of gloss, I quickly forgot about Ann Marie when I heard the band conducting a sound check and saw Don behind the bar with a pencil behind his ear.

He was rapidly going through the inventory making sure everything was set for the second busiest night of the week. What a geek, he had his Buddy Holly glasses on and for some reason had decided to let a thick stubble grow on his head. He had his long sleeve T-shirt pushed up showing off his tats, which included Dylan’s name. I told him not to put my name on his body anywhere, because if things went south I didn’t want to be responsible even so, Savannah now adorned his wrist.

My husband was so not my type, small and sinewy he was not intimidating but I knew the grace and speed that was contained in the tight package. He looked up and saw me and smiled then went back to work.

As my work night began, I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. As far as I was concerned, I had brought the party back to the Pussy. While my tummy wasn’t as tight as it had been 18 months ago it wasn’t half bad and my tits were fabulous. To let everyone know I thought so I tucked a hundred dollar bill in my cleavage that begged some drunk bastard to start a fight.

Damn, I was out of shape, my right arm was burning and both wrist ached like an old lady from flipping bottles. I knocked back a Kamikaze just as Jane walked through the door with Pricilla.

“Ladies!” I called out to them raising my arms over my head, I was feeling drunk but had only one drink.

I added Gray Goose Vodka, grenadine, a whole fresh squeezed orange and pomegranate juice to a shaker and had a Pink Pussy ready for them by the time they bellied up to the bar. Jane was glowing but Pricilla looked as evil as ever. I wanted to pull the damn bull ring out of her nose for ruining my evening.

“You damn sour faced lesbian, what the fuck is your problem?”

“She’s pregnant.” Jane gushed.

I couldn’t move, I felt something bubbling deep inside my gut, when it finally burst forth it was tit shaking belly busting laughter—my face grew warm as I gasped for air. Jane looked hurt.

“I feel you sister.”

I knocked back her drink then poured the rest from the shaker for Jane.

Life just kept more interesting.

Union Square

A baby was crying, God, somewhere in the distance a baby wouldn’t stop crying. It’s piercing wails shattered my calm making my head throb. When I finally came out of my haze, I sat up abruptly causing my world to spin. I couldn’t decide if the headache started before or after Dylan started crying.
I stumbled to the crib plucking him up I unceremoniously patted him on his little ass and crawled back into bed with him. His cries died down to mewling as I lay there in the dimly lit room. This sucked I was depressed again. Nothing in me wanted this kid yet there was no way in hell I would ever give him up. What the fuck was wrong with me?
To answer my question, Mouse Face opened the door to my bedroom door without knocking.
“Yes” I didn’t bother to sit up or cover myself.
“I thought you were sleeping.” Her eyes averted my tits as if she would turn to stone if she looked.
“Well, I am awake.” Dylan was attempting to suck the pucker of skin between my arm and breast.
“Do you want…” I cut her off before she could finish.
“No, I got him.” It was time for them to move out. She was still standing the door staring at me and I wanted to get up and push her out.
“Goodbye” I waved at her sarcastically then laid back down with Dylan. I needed to get out of the house today.
Two hours later Dylan and I were sitting in Union Square deciding on where to go next. We had cleaned out Baby Gap; the Macy’s flagship store was void of their $200 dollar jeans in my size. I found a boutique with vintage T-shirts that cost and a ridiculous amount of money but I wasn’t ready to go home. My cell phone rang; I ignored it and headed to the Sketchers store. After that I would head over to Lush and buy some overpriced soap then I needed to find a Walgreen’s.
Dylan and I ate at fancy restaurant with tablecloths and nice plates then headed over to the Pink Pussy to have a talk with Daddy II. We were loaded down with crap and filled the trunk of a cab and the front seat. I wondered if my husband would regret putting money in my account every week. I hadn’t been spending anything, so I was fucking loaded.
The cab driver reluctantly helped us carry all of our bags inside so I didn’t give him a great tip. Don was behind the bar when we brought the last load in. I had one hand full of Dylan’s carrier and the other the last two bags.
“Wow, you know most of those places will deliver to your doorstep.” I smiled at him.
“Yeah but it’s not the same.” I set the bags down as he walked around the bar.
He kissed me, then Dylan.
“What’s up?” For the first time in a long time it was easy to say what I wanted.
“I want to come back to work.” I held up my hands to silence Don.
“Not bartending fulltime, I will do the books during the week with Dylan and on Thursday and Friday nights James and Mouse Face can keep the baby while I tend bar.”
“You have given this a lot of thought?” he rubbed my arms.
“Yes.” I had a question on my face.
“Deal.” he kissed me again.
I walked toward the back room to change Dylan. “Oh and it’s time for James and Mouse Face to move out”. With that, I shut the back door.
I thought I heard Don say he couldn’t agree more but it was probably just in my head. Alone in the office, well as alone as you can be with a baby strapped to your chest I felt the fog lifting and couldn’t wait until Friday night.