Something told me that the lawyer sitting in front of me wasn’t completely on the up and up, but then again…what lawyer was. He had checked out my tits twice and kept talking to me as if I were a retard. I was wearing my combat clothes, skinny jeans, red platforms and a black in white striped tunic with a wide belt that matched my shoes.

This fucking sucked. A part of me didn’t want to hurt James but the mother part of me knew that Dylan was bonded to…. This morning I had woken up to find Don with the nugget laying on his chest. Dylan was wide awake, looking back at me with those big blue eyes that didn’t have a worry in them. It was almost like he was listening t Don breathe. For a moment I imagined my brain was a camera and I carefully took in the detail and filed it away where it would always be safe, where it would always be mine.

“Do you love your Daddy?” damned if Dylan didn’t smile. The thought of them being separated ripped my heart open and made me pray for my own long life—something that had never occurred to me until now. I guess you could say that until that very moment I had never been afraid to die. Now I was petrified and sitting across from a man who was getting paid 400 dollars an hour to tell me that…would have no legal recourse unless James agreed to it.

Fuck me for doing the right thing. During the taxi ride home I thought of away to approach it. I thought of a way to make James think it was his idea. But then it hit me—I called him and asked him to come over for dinner before I left for the club that night.

To the outsider it probably looked like I was trying to manipulate him, to keep his eyes on my gams so he would loose his focus—but I was just more comfortable if I thought I looked good. I dressed in a black wrap dress that while comfortable hugged my curves and gave me the confidence I needed to ask what I was going to ask.

As I warmed up the corn and mashed potatoes, I thanked God for Safeway. I artfully arranged the pre cooked side dishes and roasted chicken artfully on a large white plate just as James rang the doorbell.

When I opened the door all of my rehearsal went out of the door. He was clean shaven and wearing a button down shirt with jeans. When he crossed the threshold before I could say come in I instinctively took a step back.

“Please.”

It was too late he cupped his hand behind my neck and met lips which were clamped shut. He tried, he nuzzled, probed and left me with a sick feeling that I predicted would take days to shake.

“Savannah, I?”

“You’re bored.” I held up my hand and nudged him away, trying to keep things light.

“Dinners ready, and I have to get to work so come on.” I walked away from him leaving him wondering about what I said. I hoped he didn’t’ think I was playing hard to get.

When he sat down across from me at the table and poked out the chicken I took a deep swig of the Guwurz that I set out for dinner. Sonnofabitch

“I want you to promise me that you will never keep Dylan away from Don.”

James didn’t look up from his food. He poked at it some more.

“I didn’t cook it.”

He smiled and took a large scoop of the potatoes. “Thank God.”

“I’m serious James.”

“You wouldn’t let me.” He ate some of the corn but continued to avoid the chicken.

“I mean if I’m not here.” I looked at my own food and suddenly found it revolting.

James swallowed hard, “are you taking off.”

I smiled at him, he thought I was running again.

“No, I mean if I am dead James.”

The fucker nearly had tears in eyes when he looked at me, I took another sip of my wine and stood up pacing.

“Are you fucking dying?” He pushed his food away.

I stopped mid gulp and laughed.

“No, I am not dying…”

James was bright red, I couldn’t tell what was going on his head.

“What are you getting at then?”

“I mean,” I paused to finish off my glass.

“I mean that if I die, that you will share custody with my husband.”

James shrugged.

“Fuck, OK. I mean I thought you had cancer or some shit.”

He started in on his food and I started shaking.

“You promise on your sons life and happiness?”

“I promise” he had a mouth full of chicken and roll.

“You scared the shit out of me Savannah.” He washed it down with his own wine.

I walked into the kitchen and doubled over with relief. My body shook as if something couldn’t’ escape it. When I finally started to cry it was silent, and painful.

When I finally put myself back together, James had finished his dinner and was waiting to take me to the pink Pussy.