Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Keeping On

There is a part of me that just wants to let go.  I really couldn't find a reason to keep moving forward--even Dylan wasn't enough.  It was a little bit of boredom, a little bit of selfishness.  I was a after all a product of my parents even though I kept trying to be more.

My lover and my husband had united against me, and I couldn't say that I blamed them.  There was after all a darling child who deserved better in the middle. I didn't know what was going to tip the scales and either kill me or bring me back to life but family sure enough wasn't my anchor.  School didn't really work out and I probably shouldn't be anywhere near a bar.

Dylan was about to start school, it was in the back of my head that I should be there but the kid had already forgotten the word mother.  Maybe I needed medication, maybe I need a straight razor and a bottle of Jack whatever my soul was searching for I am not sure it exists.